Marriage

Looking for a way to ignite the sparks in your marriage? Want to feel closer and more loving towards your mate? Practicing praise increases the love energy in any relationship at any age.

Using this valuable tip from our workbook Second Time Around: Reinventing Your Retirement Marriage makes the love light glow!

Motivating with Praise

In your marriage, one partner may exhibit behaviors the other partner doesn’t like. Undesirable situations can occur. Trying to change or clear away what you don’t want in your marriage is never as effective as focusing on what you do want.

Here are several reasons change works this way:

1. When you try to change an undesirable behavior, you are telling your partner her behavior is wrong. None of us accept being wrong as easily as being right.

2. Often criticism is backed by anger that puts your partner on the defensive. No one is at his creative best when forced to the defensive position.

3. When you seek more of what you want, you are in fact praising yourself or your partner for what is going on. Praise is one of the best motivators to encourage people. Remember to apply this to yourself; praise yourself often.

4. Negativity, either expressed or just thought about, causes you to lose your feeling of power. Check this out; experience how you feel when in your mind you criticize your partner. Now, in your thoughts, give praise and notice the difference in how you feel about yourself. You feel more powerful in the praise scenario.

5. Talking about negative aspects is not uplifting. Focus on what you want more of—the positive side of your relationship. Your marriage will be more harmonious and enjoyable.

About The Author

Hugh Wiley: co-owner with Joanne, his wife, of Full Life Seminars, is a psychologist, seminar leader and writer discussing how to find passion and purpose in your life at any stage, but especially at that unique time known as retirement. Find more information at their website http://www.retirement-wishes.com.